A revolutionary stop smoking device is here: Sandi’s Stop Smoking Straws (SSSS-Stop!). For decades, Sandi rode with Johnny Smoke, and evangelist for a rogue mission church: Sister Nicotine and the Holy Smokes. She was one of Johnny Smoke’s victims, as he gave her his best shot, fired away and she became another notch in his gun. She, however, left a device to stop Johnny Smoke in his tracks and lock him up for good.

As to smoking, I echo Diana Ross and the Supremes: “Stop! In the name of love. Before you break my heart.”

The stop smoking straws are a new way to stop smoking, by satisfying the urge to stick a cancer stick in your mouth. They are very bitable, non-toxic and are nonflammable. You can curb your cravings for those carcinogenic cancer sticks. Instead of reaching for that cigarette, pop out one of Sandi’s Stop Smoking Straws.

These straws will help you protect your unborn children.

So the next time you crave a cancer stick, reach for the Stop Smoking Straw, available in 20 pack dispensers.  The dispensers even have the pop-up action that simulates the Johnny Smoke quick cigarette draw, which helped make him such a successful gunslinger.

This satire has been brought to you by the folks who want to stop the insanity of the cult of Sister Nicotine and the Holy Smokes.

Next time someone asks you for a cigarette, offer them a Stop Smoking Straw. Gotta light? Gotta straw? No need for a light when you use a straw!


Seriously though, it comes down to a matter of the will to stop addictions or other besetting sins. We cannot do this on our own; we need the power of God to work in us.  By the way, Jesus coming to earth to redeem us and restore us to God’s image is what Christmas is about.

Realizing you need the power of God in order to overcome besetting sins is the first step, as found in Celebrate Recovery’s 12 Steps and Biblical comparisons:

  1. We admitted we were powerless over our addictions and compulsive behaviors, that our lives had become unmanageable. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.

For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. Romans 7:18