It’s No Fun Being Homeless And Green!

Last night the shared meals for the homeless and those in need in Bucks County, PA was packed. There were more than 100 guests. The homeless/needy population in Bucks is growing. Bucks County has a solution to the problem: A Soylent Green plant, where the homeless are churned into green wafers, may open soon at the spot behind the Levittown Library where Stand Down, the three-day program to help homeless and needy veterans, held on unused land was held.  

When Stand Down was banned on public land in Bucks County, authorities were tight lipped about this ban on veterans. I uncovered the Green initiative after grilling The Minister of Silly Walks in Bucks County, R.I. Diculous. 

The plan:  Create a Soylent Green Plant/Homeless Funhouse at the site of the annual Stand Down. This is why Stand Down will no longer be held at the site; there’s a bigger and better plan to usher Bucks County into a Brave New World. 

The Soylent Green Plant/Homeless Funhouse: At the old Stand Down site, homeless people will be lured into the funhouse, where they will be carried along conveyor belts, past a diorama of pristine forests, a homeless paradise, then through the rotating knives, where the homeless will be churned into green Soylent Green wafers. Just before they get to the rotating knives, a giant neon sign will flash “THANK YOU FOR HELPING TO KEEP BUCKS COUNTY GREEN.” 

Disclaimer: The Soylent Green Plant disguised as a Homeless Funhouse is a made up story, in the tradition of Jonathan Swift’s A Modest Proposal, a satire to criticize the heartless, utilitarian attitude towards the poor. 

People should not be made into Soylent Green. We should be just a shocked at the attitude towards the homeless in places like Bucks County as was Detective Thorn (Charlton Heston) in Soylent Green: “SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!” In the Levittown public library, which I criticized for harassing the homeless, the homeless who come there have been treated more fairly.  

In There Are Homeless in Bucks County; A Journey With the Homeless I explore the problem, based on first-hand knowledge of the local homeless. I critique both the establishment’s and the homelessness part in the problem and explore options. Available: