Bucks County government gave no reason why the Stand Down, an event held each year behind the library in Levittown, PA for homeless and needy veterans will no longer be held there. http://levittownnow.com/2016/09/10/program-helps-veterans-need-kicks-off-last-year-current-site/
In an interview with informant R.I. Diculous, I found out why.
That’s it! Stand Down hurts the pride of people running Bucks County, PA. We can’t have that! Not Bucks County, with its meticulously manicured suburban lawns, soccer moms and their SUVs, and other surface glitter! And we can’t have homeless in Bucks County. Why, Diculous said, “the kids of soccer moms are always screaming in the public library in Levittown because they are afraid the homeless people will get them! That’s more scary than the boogeyman!”
A plan is in place for next year. All local homeless, not just homeless veterans, will be lured into the “Emergency Assembly Area” outside the Levittown public library, where they will be offered a trip to Disney World in Orlando, Florida.
Bucks County government has teamed up with Disney to find a way to better serve the homeless and to serve man, by stopping the alligators from eating tourists at The Seven Seas Lagoon in Orlando.
From the emergency assembly area, where the homeless with gather, Advocates for The Homeless and Those in Need (AHTN) will send a bus to pick them up and take the homeless to the Amtrak station in Philadelphia, where they will ride Amtrak, free, to Orlando. Once in Orlando, the homeless will be picked up in a special bus named To Serve Man and taken to the Disney resort.
At Disney, they will be given a meal – a picnic at The Seven Seas Lagoon. To allay any fears, signs warning about alligators will be taken down. The only signs posted at the time will be “Reserved for The Homeless.” Once the alligators chop down on homeless sitting on the edge of the lagoon, Disney will flash notifications all over the park: “Seven Seas Lagoon is now open. It’s safe there now. The alligators have eaten and are full.”
Local Bucks County environmentalists protested against the Homeless for Alligators program. They said the homeless could serve Bucks County better by participating in the Keep Bucks County Green, Soylent Green initiative. In this program, the homeless will be allowed to camp, virtually in pristine woods, as they are carried along conveyor belts, past the rotating knives, in extreme comfort, where their mangled flesh is ground into wafers, just like in the movie. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soylent_Green
Either plan, said Diculous, will help protect the environment. By eliminating people, the biggest polluter of the planet, Bucks County can remain pristine. Pennsylvania Governor Wolf, aka “The Big Bad Wolf”, banned new drilling for gas and oil on state park and forest lands in Pennsylvania. PA State Representative Tina Davis, aka the Bimbo of Bucks County, in a newsletter praised The Big Bad Wolf for the ban on drilling. She admitted that the drilling helps the economy and creates a lot of employment, but touts that protecting the environment trumps that – it’s more important and worthy to be praised.
Indeed, Big Bad Wolf’s plan will blow many houses down, making more people homeless. This is why we need to find a way to handle the homeless problem. We can serve man in this matter with either the Orlando Solution or the Keep Bucks County Green initiative.
“It’s a win win for Bucks County”, Diculous said, beamishly.